it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
