go do what you do best...puke behind churches
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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