so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
