You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
