so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
