big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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