you turned your livingroom into a bong?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
