Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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