it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
