id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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