I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
