I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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