I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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