so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
