halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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