i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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