She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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