so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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