I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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