Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
In America we eat man semen.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
