I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
