Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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