are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Boobs speak an international language.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
