so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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