just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
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I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
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I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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