he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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