Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
