i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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