So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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