Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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