One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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