No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
