I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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