Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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