I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
