just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
