WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
