I never want to see another naked old woman again.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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