Having a random hookup so left but love u
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
whose ass print is on the piano?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
