I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
