i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
