I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
