I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
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I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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