Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
