Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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