I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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