Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
