She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
