Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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