Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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