Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
