Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
