i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
