I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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