Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I woke up under a house in Key West
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
