dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
