did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
