Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
