some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
