it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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