dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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