So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
