You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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