dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sext me about skeletons
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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