life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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