I wannas sexs uuuuu
I cockslap morals
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
