What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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