He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
