I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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